We believe that looking lovely goes beyond how you dress and whether you wear makeup. The truly important part is what is on the inside, and how you act towards others.
Right now we are trying to think more about other people. We are enjoying time with family and friends, with the focus on what they want will make them happy.
We are trying to reach out to those less fortunate than ourselves. This could be by making a donation to a charity, working as a volunteer or putting together a Christmas Shoe Box.
Widen your Horizons
Every year as the season turns from summer to autumn I feel the urge to do something new. I put this down to my early years of returning to school in September. I loved the ‘newness’ of it all: new school shoes, a case with shiny new pencils, clean new note books with pages to be filled with fresh ideas and best of all the anticipation that something beyond my imagination was about to happen.
My years in formal education stretched out for a long time. School was followed by University and then when I started work my evenings were filled with study for a professional qualification. Before I reached my 30th birthday I vowed that I had had enough.
Looking back I see that between the ages of 30 and 40 I was learning a wealth of new skills. During those years I had two children and continued to work full time.
When I reached the milestone of my 40th birthday I was worried that my brain might turn to stone if I didn’t take on a new mental challenge. I decided to start evening classes to learn German. It took determination to get organised, but I did it. In fact, I enjoyed the first course so much that I attended evening classes in German for 3 years.
We went to Austria for a holiday that the whole family enjoyed.
Beyond that there were unexpected benefits.
Instead of adding to my stress levels, I found the preparation and attendance at evening classes relaxing. This was time away from the daily routine of getting the kids ready, going to work, preparing dinner, laundry, etc. I did have to develop more streamlined routines, but that was no bad thing, and it was worth it to gain some time for myself.
A few years later I was able to help my son study for his German GCSE exam. He found my explanations and coaching so helpful that he shared my grammar notes with a friend. They were the only 2 boys in their year group who passed the exam!
Best of all I made a friend. After we attended classes together we both got jobs at the same place and ‘car pooled’ for about 5 years.
When I gave up full time employment I felt that I needed to try something completely different. I felt too mentally worn out to pursue anything even that required reading or writing. Instead, I signed up for a weekly class in Pilates – taught by Tricia.
Pilates has improved my posture and generally toned my muscles, especially those that hold in my slightly tubby tummy (in my opinion). Through attending classes I have met other women who are at home in the day time. Best of all, it has been a good way to wind down after years of rushing all the time.
Perhaps you feel that signing up for a weekly class is beyond your budget, or that you are not ready to make the commitment. Why not dip a toe in the water by trying a book group? Your local library may be able to tell you of any in your area.
If reading is not your thing, consider trying a new craft. Craft shops appear to be growing in popularity; some of them offer classes. You could learn something new and make a friend or two.
To get some ideas, take a look at any community notice boards. In our town there are notice boards in the supermarket, library, post office and railway station. Alternatively, your local newspaper or website may be full of suggestions.
Take a chance on something new!
Does hope drive us to buy skin care and cosmetics?
Pat writes:
One of the halls of residence at my University was called Hope Hall. In my day this was a women’s hall and all those living there were said to be “living in hope”. I reckon this is a term that can often be applied to many of us, including some men, especially while we peruse the shelves of the chemist or view the products on offer at beauty counters.
In my opinion the all-time prize for an honest name for a skin care product is the cream produced by Philosophy called Hope in a Jar. I think that is what we are often buying, especially when we see those magic words ‘anti-aging skin care’. We hope that the contents of the jar (or tube, or bottle) will counteract the effects of too many late nights, glasses of wine, even smoking and at the same time hold back the years.
Of course I want to look my best, so I keep up the cleanse, tone and moisturise routine and apply daily make up so that I am well-groomed. But at least part of me buys into the theory that with enough effort I might look like a younger woman.
Do you remember a few years ago when many branches Boots the Chemist actually sold out of their No 7 Protect & Perfect beauty serum? There had been a television programme about a scientific study that showed that this serum actually worked. The Protect & Perfect product says on the label “reveal younger looking, beautifully refined skin”. This product has a lower price than many other products that claim to achieve the same results and the publicity had women queuing up to buy it. In fact, I knew at least women who bought a tube even though it cost considerably more than her usual skin care products.
Sadly, the woman who spent more money than usual failed to see any improvement. When I asked how she had used it she explained that she put it on after washing her face every night. The guidance on the Boots website says that the serum should be applied after cleansing and toning, and that moisturiser should be applied afterwards. Sometimes hope is not enough – you need to read the instructions to get the benefit.
My guess is that logic does not really play much part in the decision to purchase skin care products or makeup. I confess that I am guilty of throwing logic out the window. I have read about organic skin care, and I think that the reasons for choosing organic products make a lot of sense. There are still times when I see a new product and am so convinced that it will improve my skin, that I buy it without even asking whether it is organic.
When I was younger my main motivation to buy makeup came from a desire to look pretty, but now I buy it more for fun. I believe that I actually enjoy using makeup more now than I did when I was in my 20s or 30s, because I choose things on the basis that I simply like them. My colour choices are based on what I like rather than what I think will make my eyes look wider, or my face more sculpted, or whatever. The result is that I now have more makeup than I did when I was younger, but that is as much to do with having more to spend on myself.
The dark side is that sometimes women buy or refrain from buying through fear. That is fear of looking old, or fear of looking silly. I tell myself that I want to look my best, so of course I don’t want to go out dressed in clothes appropriate for a teenager. But there is that underlying fear that if I do not choose age-appropriate clothing I will look odd and out of place.
On the whole, I try to base my purchases of clothes, make up and skin care on positive thoughts. In fact, that’s a good philosophy for life.
Help others to enjoy life with a Random Act of Kindness - scroll down for ideas.
Random Acts of Kindness
The concept of taking part in random acts of kindness to make the world a better place is becoming a popular one. There’s also a ‘feel good’ factor which may even have health benefits. For further information on the web try www.actsofkindness.org
Just look out for opportunities to go that extra mile in the kindness stakes and chances will present themselves to you during your day. If you’re stuck for ideas, the following suggestions may be helpful.
Say a kind word
Pay a compliment
Say ‘thank you’
Make and give away cakes to friends
Volunteer
Babysit
Smile
Raise funds for a charity
Phone someone who would appreciate a call
Treat someone
Help an elderly neighbour with a task
Visit someone housebound, make an appointment first
Buy cat or dog food for an animal rescue shelter
Smile and say, 'Thank you,' to the next person who serves you in a shop
Praise a child
Write a thank-you note
Send a card
Hug your partner/child/parent
Give blood
Say a prayer for someone
Wash a car
Clear up litter (be aware of safety considerations)
Tip generously
Open a door for someone
Forgive an old grudge
Contact a person you have neglected and arrange to meet up
Chat to a person who is alone at a group function
Invite someone to coffee or dinner
Praise your children for just being who they are, no achievement necessary!
Give a bunch of flowers 
Give a lift
Make a donation to charity
Pass on a book to a charity shop
Bake a cake or biscuits to share
Please tell us your way of showing kindness on our Talk Back page.
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